Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Ultimate Gift

*Warning, I am crying my eyes out right now, move forward with caution*

So it all began a few months ago with a knock at our door and a card.  Inside was something neither Matt nor I was accustomed to.  I sweet note from a neighbor and a pile of gift cards.  After many seconds of shock, Matt and I looked at each other and asked "Why?"  We tucked those cards away and thought and planned two things.  One, how to say thank you for the generous gift, and two how to use the generous gift in a way that would benefit our family the most without squandering it on unnecessaries.  The gift idea was sweet.  A date night for Matt and I complete with dinner, movie passes, and a lot of shopping.  Free babysitting was included.  Well at the time, Jersey was going through this really rough separation anxiety phase and wouldn't go to anyone, and I mean anyone.  A date night without her was definitely out, but we had come up with a more feasible plan and used the gift cards for Christmas. 

The next one came on a night when the family was all sitting on our bed watching a Redbox movie together.  Late at night a call to check our porch.  On the porch was a basket of fruit.  The look on my kids eyes that night was priceless.  When your main food items come from a 50 gallon bucket- fresh fruit is hard to come by.  It was like Christmas.  Each piece was savored and shared. (Think of the story of the Christmas orange.)

Next came after Thanksgiving, a box of fruit.  This one every bit as special as the first.  My kids were in heaven.  I was left still wondering why, and Matt was left spending more time on his knees.  This has been especially hard on him.  Trying and trying to provide for your family and coming up short, working long hours and never seeing the fruits of those labors... until now, no pun intended.

Last night was a knock at the door with an adorable 2 year old standing there.  She handed us an envelope and said "Merry Christmas" in this really sweet voice with a smile that would melt snow.  We didn't know who the girl was and assumed that there was a Christmas card inside.  It wasn't until after she was gone that we opened the envelope and saw something unbelievable.  A stack of bills and no note.  No way to say thank you for the gift.  No way to explain what this has meant to me and my family.  No way to express our gratitude at the timing of such a gift.  Our kids were there for this moment and although they probably didn't process the amount, their comment was maybe we could go buy some cereal now.  

I love my family.  I love Matt and his unfailing commitment to keep our family together.  I love how supportive he is in me.  I love when he hugs me.  Good days and bad, and everywhere in between.  I love that some of our kids will eat straight up oatmeal every morning without complaint and the ones who hate oatmeal will eat soup and beans for dinner without complaint.  I love that they get so excited over apples and oranges and they think of buying cereal instead of toys.  I love that they will endure teasing at school about worn out clothes and coats and reduced lunches and instead find friends who are in similar situations.  I love that they were the most excited I have seen them at Dollar Tree buying each other gifts.  I love that the pressure of the holidays are gone.  And the only thing left to worry about is how to say sorry to Matt for airing our dirty laundry to the cyber world.  I love that there are people out there who love us and are concerned for our well-being.  I wish I could say thank you in person to each individual who has ever helped us.  Many of you have been our emotional strength.  I am especially grateful for a Heavenly Father who hears and answers prayers, who knows our needs and for a Savior who came and lived as we do, has been in our shoes, and has paid the price for my Ultimate Gift.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Still here

So I didn't fall off the deep end.  I have just been enjoying the actual art of living life instead of blogging about it.  And now that orientation at work is over, I am hoping to be back to blogging about all the chaos at our house, if I can find the time.  So much has happened over the last six months, but really (aside from our adorable kids) it's not that great so it's kind of nice to just skip it all and start fresh.  

So today I had a great day with my kids.  I am still waiting for Matt to get home from working odds and end jobs.  I worked last night and taught preschool this morning, I watched a movie with Creed, Annie, and Jersey that I had to rewind 5 times because I kept dozing off during it and really wanted to know how it ends so we can return it to the Redbox.  I then worked on homework with the kids and did some major catch- up with Sage and helped Autumn finish a report due tomorrow.  Then we went to tumbling where Sage actually tried her very hardest the whole time.  She has had some minor set backs with her confidence that has carried over to her tumbling, but after today I know that she will get back to where she was and move forward from there.  I love her bubbly personality and I have deeply missed it these last 6 weeks.  After tumbling we went to the church for Relief Society were the kids played in the nursery and I enjoyed a yummy dinner where I ate twice as much food as I should have to make up for the lack of eating over the last 36 hours.  (I never eat well at work and we didn't have much in the house anyway.)  Jersey even went to the nursery so I could enjoy the Christmas program.  The kids all got candy after and got to bed by 8:30pm, which is really good for me.  Matt is better at getting them to bed on time.  So after doing a bit of nothing, I decided that this would be as good as any place to start updating.  

On Sunday night, the Schaugaards had an adult family home evening.  This is something we did a few years ago and I really enjoyed it.  It was a great opportunity to gather as an eternal family and discuss how we can improve spiritually.  Part of the draw is seeing Matt's dad in a patriarch roll.  His spirituality amazes me every time I am lucky enough to be a part of it.  He has a greater understanding of the gospel and reminds me of Lehi in the Book of Mormon.  I would like to think of myself as one of the righteous ones married to Nephi or Sam, but in all reality, I have so much to learn before I can truly understand things at his level.  I find myself in the city of Jerusalem still unaware of the truth.  As part of our "assignment" for FHE I need to explore where I am at and find a way to move up to the "gauntlet" part of the journey.  I know that none of this makes sense, but writing about it seemed the best way for me.  

So back to the family......Jersey is sad right now because I can no longer hold her and type at the same time.  She is starting to walk and babble and play independently.  It's so nice.  But right now she needs me so I say goodbye to go snuggle with my babe.